dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
