you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
