I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
