Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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