Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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