Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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