life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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