I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
