Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
