his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
