Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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