I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
