I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
