It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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