Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
be right there i have to get my cape
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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