I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
