eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
