CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
