I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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