It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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