we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had to coat check the pizza.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
