The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
