Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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