he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
