Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
