so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hate all girls vehemently.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
