So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
