then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Found your dick twin last night
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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