do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
