Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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