I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
