i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
