Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
