I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
