I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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