Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
