too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
