I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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