Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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