quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize