It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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