yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
