But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well you can't waste a boner
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
