Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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