New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
