i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
