im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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