who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
