but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You took a bar mat shot.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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