counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
