Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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