is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
