I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
