His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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